The Dreaded Revisions (also known as chocolate and wine time!)
I’d love to tell you that was true. That chocolate and wine make the revisions easy. Unfortunately revisions go much more like this…
1. Check methodically for email from editor (constantly refresh email inbox for around 3 weeks)
2. Smile when email pings into box (stomach turns over in case she’s hated manuscript)
3. Open email (hot sweats, cold sweats, palpitations, can’t read it)
4. Read email (read email)
5. Try to breathe (I CAN’T DO THAT!!!!)
6. Try to be rational (All hope is lost, my book sucks, I hate it, she hates it, the world will hate it).
7. Ignore email and get on with life (no matter how much I clean, cook dinners for kids, iron, do washing, socialise, these revisions are spinning around in my head).
8. Find a whole host of priorities that you’ve ignored for at least a year (those cupboards have to be emptied, the walls in that room need painted now!, there’s definitely a mark on my new sofa – spend hours on the internet to find a way to get rid of mark – oh, wait, it was the way the light was coming in the window).
9. Go in the shower (because the shower is the place that revisions start to make sense. It’s also usually the only place in the house I get 5 minutes peace. All those things that I couldn’t do start to circulate in my brain).
10. Decide to make some small changes to the manuscript that seem manageable and not too major (do a few of the things the editor suggested).
11. Rethink how one scene works and put in some more layers to deepen the emotion here (This scene *might* have lacked a little sparkle and I *might* have already known that).
12. I definitely still can’t do THAT (but now it’s beginning to rattle around in my brain and annoy me).
13. Wonder if my book is starting to look at a bit better (think if I have to read another single word of this manuscript I might cry).
14. Decide it might be time to wash inside the windows, take all the curtains down and wash them – even though they won’t fit in the washing machine and are dry clean only, strip all the beds and wash the bedclothes, empty the kids wardrobes and make them try on every item of clothing to see if it still fits, wonder if I should try a new fad diet (THAT thing is really starting to annoy me. I might try and do just a little of it.)
15. I hate my hero, I hate my heroine, I hate the setting, I hate the heroine’s cat/dog/mouse/best friend/baby. (I can’t bear to look at this again because I think I’m going to have to change THAT).
16. Change THAT because it wasn’t as bad as I thought and now it might make perfect sense even though I will never admit that. EVER.
17. I love my book. I love my hero. I love my heroine. I love my setting. I love my editor (but if I have to read this manuscript again I’m taking it out into the back garden and setting fire to it).
18. Press send. Drink wine. Eat chocolate. Forget all about book.
19. Six months later the copy edits arrive for manuscript. (I LOVE this book. I’d forgotten I’d put that in there – I really love this!).
20. Start the whole process again…
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SScarlet's latest release is
TThe Heir of the Castle
When the closest person tycoon Callan McGregor has to a father dies, it's down to him to organize the inheritance of Annick Castle. And the most suitable candidate seems to be stunning lawyer Laurie Jenkins.