Show Don't Tell with Kate Walker

Author Kate Walker with a great post about Showing and Telling in Fiction Writing. 

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Over to Kate now..

Show don’t tell . . .

Show don’t tell has to be one of the most frequently quoted  pieces of advice to writers of popular fiction, but in my experience as a teacher of romance writing, and as a reader for the Romantic Novelists’  Association  New Writers’ Scheme, it’s also often the most ignored or just badly used  piece of assistance on how to write a readable, fast paced, gripping novel.

It’s not just a modern day piece of advice either. It’s been around for years.  And years. Samuel  Clemens, who  as I’m sure you know, wrote as Mark Twain had this important  instruction to give:

Don't tell us that the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.  -- Samuel Clemens

But still I read so many manuscripts where the author spends a lot of time writing narrative – telling us what happened, what the characters  feel,  what the problem is.  Narrative always slows down the read of your book. It makes the reader aware that she is reading, when the effect you want t to make her feel as if she is watching what is happening, seeing events take place, hearing your characters speak to each other,  noticing the effect the things they say have on each other.  A slow pace to the novel means that the reader can easily put it down, breaking off from all that telling – and often thy are slow to pick up again – maybe they never will.

The best way to make sure that you are showing basically not to tell  your story but to be there. To ‘live’ in the scene and see it happen in your imagination. Thinks about the scene as if it is a scene from a  film. If  you were watching an exciting or emotional  film, you want to watch what happens, hear the dialogue. You wouldn’t expect – or want to have an author’s voice break into the scène and start to tell you that   ‘Felicity felt lost and alone.  She couldn’t believe that Mario had walked out on her on her wedding day.  . . ‘ etc.  No, you’d want to see the scene where Marion declared that he wasn’t going through with the wedding, see him turn on his heel and walk out of the church. You’d   be able to tell his mood and feelings by the way he moved, the  things he said. Similarly, you’d  understand just what was  going through Felicity’s mind if she collapsed on the  altar steps, sobbing as if her  heart was broken  - or if she flung her bouquet after Mario’s retreating back, cursing him and calling him ever name under the sun.

And that’s what your reader wants to see. She wants to see your characters respond to the feelings tangled up inside them – not for you to describe the  way they felt.  

So my first piece of advice is to watch how films or dramas or soap operas show you things. They have plenty of dialogue which is essential for the viewer to feel as if she’s there – but what other techniques do they use to show what people  are feeling –

The camera focussing on their faces

The way they have changed colour – going red In  the face from anger or white from shock

The tone of voice they use
The actions they make

Whether they frown, smile, laugh weep

All of these show the reader what your hero or heroine is feeling without you needing to explain  in lengthy detail.
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And you can take this further – Use sensory images.  Use all  the five senses.  Talk about the heat in the room, or the scent – and the colour - of the flowers at that ruined wedding. What do Mario’s footsteps sound like walking away ?  The  more you can create a world for your reader by adding in these  details, the more she'll be present at the scene you’re creating.

When you’re describing your characters don’t tell us what other people think they are like of the reputation they have .  Don ‘t say that Mario had a reputation for being  brusque and sarcastic – give him so very brusque and sarcastic dialogue to speak.  If your heroine   is wild and unconventional have her appear  with purple dyed spiky hair, riding on a motorbike- driving rather too fast.  Let your reader see or hear  your characters in the same way that they would in a film,.

So, obviously, dialogue is vital to showing not telling. Using dialogue brings and immediacy and a drama to the scene that really brings it alive.  A very knowledgeable editor once  gave me a  rule of thumb (not an out and out rule because of course there are no rules when writing except to write the best book you can).  Anyway, this rule of thumb was that the proportions of dialogue to narrative should be 60% dialogue, 40%  narrative.   If you think you have to have explanations and descriptions and reasons why – think about a dram broadcast on the radio. You can hear all those emotions in the actor’s words, in their tone of voice. They don’t ever need to  add ‘she said angrily’ or ‘he said brutally’  - you can hear it – and the words themselves, the dialogue the writer puts in their mouths, the circumstances they are in, tell you how it’s being said without any  description being necessary.

Of course you’re writing a novel – not  a radio  drama or a screenplay, so you shouldn’t  avoid  telling altogether.  You need to make sure that your story takes place in a place that the reader can imagine it, so you need to sketch in some description, perhaps a quick summary of what happened between scenes. .  The goal is to make the majority of your story telling is showing the reader what’s happening, and keep the telling to a minimum.

Ask yourself – If this scene was on a film, what details would I notice ?

What would my viewer/reader hear?

What would she see?

What details would make it real?

What details would express the characters emotions  so that I don’t have to say ‘she  was desperately sad.’ Or he was terrified’.  How would they show it?

So -  Don’t TELL your story .

        BE there

       Watch what’s happening and see all the details

And bring your reader into that world with you .

 Kate Walker's latest release...
A runaway princess… 

It should have been easy. Karim al Khalifa, crown prince of Mazarkhad, had one task—retrieve rebellious princess Clementina Saveneski from her hideout in England and return her home to be wed…to another man.
His to find, or his to keep?
It is not for Karim to notice her alluring scent, those seductive curves, the enticing glances she sends his way. No, his family's honor, and his own, require Clementina to be delivered—pure and untouched—to her unwanted bridegroom. And he must resist all temptation to keep her for himself!

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